Vague…the New Vogue

We all have our cringe-worthy phrases that do funny things to our face when we hear them.

I’m talking eye rolls, scrunched-up nose, or pursed lips that look like teensy little crows landed on either side of our mouth.

However, the same phrase can be spoken by someone else and our eyes light up, our nostrils flare like a horse ready to race, our blood gets energized, and our face breaks out in grin. 🙂

What makes for such a difference in response?

Uh, well…I really don’t know how I’d answer…What? Well, I think – no, let me, uh…could you repeat the question?

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Let’s do a little unpacking of that snazzy-looking satchel stuffed with vague…the new vogue. Perhaps we can figure out how well it works, or doesn’t, when you are leading with your life – which presumably means you are leading not only yourself but others, too.

Following is some of my favorite fodder behind vague…the new vogue .

‘Let’s do some blue sky thinking.’ – You may relate to this one from the workplace.

• On a good day, that blue sky looks just like a big flip chart waiting for mega-scrawls of ideas poured forth. Like sailing-ship-shaped clouds, it’s a dreamer’s delight: ‘blue sky at noon, the world will swoon’ over the finest things our leadership mind can envision. It is invigorating to be in this mode. Blue sky thinking can become the motivation behind great accomplishment.

• On a not so good day, vagueness can creep in around the edges and the bush-beating begins. We may love that big blue sky, but have an idea not much bigger than a cloud the size of a man’s hand. The heavens have not yet opened and started raining more definition. That’s ok.

It’s what we do from here that helps define what kind of leader leads in us:

– A leader whom ones want to be with will learn to say three little words: ‘I don’t know.’ Simple and clear as that big blue sky. This type of response can spawn further dialogue that actually goes somewhere or, if needed, send yourself and others back to the drawing board for awhile.

– A leader who has mastered abstract and arbitrary over concrete and objective will tend to go vague with something similar to the ‘uh, well…’ response above. This does not help those who follow. To press the issue of ‘go forth and do’ with little to nothing to go on leads to another leadership matter we’ll save for another post. Suffice it to say, throwing down the ‘it’s vague but go do anyway’ card will not get you any brownies – points or the gooey kind. What it will likely get you is frustrated followers at best and loose cannons at worst.

‘If I tell you, then I’ll have to kill you.’ Ok, so we don’t run with the CIA but this is vague for the masses.

• On a good day, if you are privy to confidential information, you button down your lip along with your shirt. You don’t feel the need to share with others anything you have been entrusted with. You’ve been learning those qualities called patience and confidential ‘R us.

• On a not so good day, that confidential info can burn a hole in your pocket like a kid with his allowance. You soooo want to tell somebody but know you aren’t supposed to, so vague becomes the new vogue to tempt others to beat it out of you. With a wet spaghetti noodle.

Once again, there is an obvious defining moment for what kind of leader leads in us:

– A leader whom ones come to trust will prove they can safeguard confidential information. An added benefit is long life: for the tell-ee, since if they don’t tell you, they won’t have to kill you; and for the tell-er because they won’t be brought up on murder charges. Yes, I’m being facetious, but for some this is a real leadership downfall. It is much less complicated to simply learn to button it.

–  A leader who wonders why they are usually the last to know has typically mastered the conversational art form of vague hinting. Those darn bushes. They keep following me! Oh well, I’ll just keep beating around them in hopes someone will have an epiphany and blurt it out. Then I can’t be accused of telling what I wasn’t supposed to tell. It sounds childish, doesn’t it? Yet many who are leading with their life haven’t grown into someone who holds confidences.

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I don’t think we will ever outgrow learning lessons in leadership as long as we are still drawing breath. It matters not so much where you are leading with your life as much as it is the realization that you are.

As in the illustrations above, sometimes leading requires not so much verbiage as example. Two key desires of anyone who truly wants to lead well with their life should be etched across that blue sky:

To be an authentic someone that others want to be around,
and to know that they know they can trust you.

Everything else is brownie points.

No matter how vague this world becomes – in the media, politics, service and industry, and relationships wherever you have them – know this:

Vague as the new vogue has no lasting, redeeming value. It may be a tried and true evasive tactic, but it is just that. An evasive tactic that is less than the authentic you.

Let vogue be vogue. You are more than a fad, craze, or socially acceptable trend.

How’s that for vague?!

~ Nancy

P.S.  If you would like to discuss vague or other vogue-ness, feel free to contact me by sky-writing 🙂

Free photo courtesy of Unsplash with PicMonkey enhancements