The Art of Vacillation

*Do you struggle with indecisiveness?

*Have you climbed up in the swing of back and forth and find you can’t jump off?

*Do you second-guess yourself and grind to a halt before you even take a first step forward?

If every decision becomes a dilemma, I empathize with you.

Let’s unpack the art of vacillation a bit, shall we?

Vacillation is what I coined as 
‘being vaccinated against making a decision.’

This is a real problem for some folks. I’m not talking about trying to decide what is the best choice to make between options.

No, vacillation is the serious business of not making the decision to even make the choice.

At first glance, it may seem there is no difference, but the results speak for themselves:

In the first case, though there may be some hesitancy at first, the person does respond and proves it by making decisions – big and little – that gets them moving in the direction they have chosen.

In the second scenario, the person may have the same degree of hesitancy as the first person does when the fork in the road appears (decision time). But then they either shut down or remain caught in paralyzing uncertainty at worst or crippling fluctuation at best.

The ‘walk’ / ‘don’t walk’ photo is an example of two urges competing within one’s thought process. “Should I or shouldn’t I?” “What if…?”  “What will…?”

Let me cut to the chase here for a moment. Coaches do not, nor does anyone else have a crystal ball that can see a mile down the road or a year out on the calendar to assure you that your choice is going to be the right one. Heck, we don’t even know what’s in the next room sometimes. That’s why in order for me to help others live life forward, I do so as a faith-based coach relying on the Holy Spirit to ignite and motivate our mutual efforts. I have found time and again this approach can make all the difference.

What I can assure you is there will be plenty of opportunities in the coaching process to make choices and decisions. Coaching is a particularly good place to practice making decisions.

• If your theme song is Frozen – which is not the actual theme song of Let It Go – you’re invited to thaw a bit at a time in the warmth of the coaching relationship. One step at a time.
• A coach can help you learn how to answer those paralyzing questions of ‘should I or shouldn’t I, what if, and what will’? instead of them chasing each other like a circulating ticker tape in your brain at 3 am.
• If you’re willing to trust the coaching process, you can discover and gain skills in decision-making you didn’t know existed in you.
• You may identify limiting beliefs written on your heart and emblazoned in your mind that have honed your aptitude in the art of vacillation. Once identified, they can be dealt with instead of remaining relegated to the once-unapproachable ‘unknown’.
• There’s more, but the above bullet points highlight just a few benefits you may derive from entering into a coaching relationship.

Something happens when we make up our mind. It’s called action.

I promise you the Lord is just as if not more interested as you in bringing about movement in your life.

If you’re tired of living in a holding pattern seemingly going nowhere, ask yourself if you are too much an expert in the art of vacillation.

There’s a vaccination for that too.  You’re invited to contact me to make an appointment for yours!

~ Nancy

photo credit: Walk – Don’t Walk Lights – Washington DC via photopin (license)