The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
~ Flora Whittemore ~
In a previous post, The Art of Vacillation, I described vacillation as ‘being vaccinated against making a decision.’
For some it is a painful and debilitating struggle. For others it is simply an easy-going approach – ‘what will be will be’ so there’s no felt need to make a decision. One may foster anxiety, the other apathy. However, it need not do either.
This post addresses a step beyond vacillation: the art of resolve.
In faith-based coaching, there are two elements in play when I work with someone. The external goal-oriented and practical steps side and the internal heart and soul side. They don’t always receive the same amount of time and treatment, but together pair spiritual growth with meaningful action.
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Flora Whittemore, author of the above quote, nailed it. Each day is pertinent based on doors we open or doors we close. We can and sometimes do get tripped up though when nothing seems to change or is constantly changing.
How can we live life forward when each day feels like either a locked door or a revolving door? Stuck with too much time to think, or in perpetual motion with no time to think?
It is difficult to find resolve at such times.
We make decisions every day, yet sometimes stumble over the ones that can or will have the most impact in deciding the life we live and living that life forward.
Why is that?
I can think of three key reasons with which most of us can likely identify:
- There’s a BIG problem.
- There are doubts or disputes surrounding a decision. Decisive answers seem elusive and sometimes combative.
- ‘I like soft boiled eggs’ syndrome (kind of like trying to nail Jello to the wall). It’s tricky to make a firm decision. Eggs are meant to be fried, scrambled, over easy or hard. Not so your decision-making skills.
So, how might we practice the art of resolve?
RESOLVE THE PROBLEM by reducing it into simpler elements. If it’s too BIG, Break It Gently into manageable components. There’s no need to charge at it like a bull in a china shop. Keep your wits about you, pray for wisdom as you proceed, and expect God to make the way clear and understandable. He can and He will.
RESOLVE BY DELIBERATION with an eye toward clearing up doubts and a heart turned toward finding a resolution. You cannot control another’s action or decision, but you can take the initiative to show up at the table in a reasoning mood. Even if the deliberation is with yourself.
Successful resolve starts with taking initiative. Taking initiative is to start, make a beginning, take a step in a desired direction. Hesitation and Deliberation don’t rhyme (well ok, technically they do). But not when it comes to the art of resolve. What may happen if you take a baby step? What will happen if you don’t?
RESOLVE BY DETERMINATION to take a vote in order to reach a firm decision. A list of pros and cons is helpful for clarity. If choices before you carry fairly equal weight, ask God to play eenie meenie miney mo with you.
That’s not meant to be disrespectful. Do you know that sometimes He would like us to make a decision? He loves it when we engage with and talk to Him about it, then choose from the options He makes evident.
If you would like to explore this more, please muster up enough resolve to contact me and book a coaching appointment.
You, me and God can practice the art of resolve together. (If it comes down to drawing straws, I have straws 🙂 )
For some added encouragement in the art of resolve, A Thousand Little Choices is a great read over on our companion website at my Wellspring of Life blog.
~ Nancy
The Art of … word pictures of human nature
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