The Art of Snarky

As a writer, I love words. Ideas for blog posts consistently come to me in titles or phrases. At times I can hardly grab pen and paper fast enough.

Writing is an art form in itself. So is human nature. The recent new category of The Art of… will provide the gallery for viewing word pictures of issues with which many of us likely struggle – because we’re human.

The Art of Snarky has been on my running list of titles for a while now.

Since Nancy Bentz, Life Coach is about inspiring, guiding and motivating, I’ve written a lot of other things while waiting for inspiration to hit on how to write about The Art of Snarky without sounding, well…snarky.

After all, snarky is an internal attitude that comes flying out one’s mouth. One doesn’t have to be a writer to love words. Sometimes just copping an attitude will provide a whole thesaurus of words and phrases ready to leave their mark. Ah, sweet pressure valve relief! … unless you’re on the receiving end of snarky. Such pot shots pollute the atmosphere leaving a lingering testiness until the air clears.

In the same manner, the one with the snarky attitude ends up polluting their own inner atmosphere as well. Sure, it may feel good to let ‘er fly (because the flesh benefits from indulging in letting off steam!), but the more one practices the art of snarky, the more they are doing themselves a disservice too. One can’t stand upwind from one’s own self.

Snarky isn’t conveyed just by words, either. Some of us could win an Academy Award for our portrayal of snarky via body language, facial expression or grumpy, disapproving attitude. Have you ever seen the snarky chicken look on someone’s face – or in the mirror?

Snarky is quite adept at setting the mood. It can take the slightest thing to throw one into Snarkyville. Unfortunately, it usually gives a free Snarkyville pass to anyone else within one’s immediate vicinity, too. Like one annoying clucking chicken in the barnyard, snarky begets snarky. Pretty soon, there’s a ruckus.

Snarky isn’t snarky for no reason, though. I’ve come up with a few;  I welcome yours in the comment section:

Snarky has become a (bad) habit. Like any habit, the art of snarky has usually developed over time. In the beginning it was tried and felt good (that old flesh thing kicked in). When pettiness or irritability is itching, snarky is the scratch that feels good. It’s hard to just leave it be. Old habits die hard, but new ones are possible. They’re developed the same way the old ones were. From heart to mouth.

It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. Matthew 12:34 MSG

It gets the desired response. If one wants to be alone, snarky is a good way of clearing the room or ending a conversation in a hurry. However, if the desired response is someone saying ‘How high?’ to one’s ‘Jump!’, snarky isn’t the best way to improve responsiveness. It might require two sentences instead of a snarky command. Will two sentences kill us? No. Just hopefully our flesh in the quest of becoming more Christ-like in attitude and speech.

Family or cultural upbringing. I am not an evolutionist, but there is something to the ‘monkey see, monkey do’ mentality. Snarky can be a trait copied and carried forward from what was a socially acceptable past communication pattern. The problem with assuming others are ok with that style of interaction is that words can hurt. Coupled with a snarky attitude, communication becomes demeaning instead of meaningful.

Insufficient or improper self-care. Snarky has a whole host of synonyms: crabby, cranky, peevish, short-tempered, irritable – to name a handful. When I read those descriptors, my mind goes to a common underlying cause: tiredness, fatigue, stress. Whether the culprit is not giving oneself permission for sufficient self-care; fear of seeking it for oneself while bound to someone else’s withholding of it; or mental and emotional weariness in a long-haul season, there are appropriate stages of help available.

Sarcasm and irreverence are points of pride. That’s why, in varying degrees, there is an art to being snarky. Sadly, some folks take the art of snarky very seriously – in a smug or conceited sort of way. I once had someone tell me they had not had a voice for so long that now they had found it, they were determined to say whatever came to mind. That was their response after they were called out for their snarky commentary. No accountability for now.

Snarky need not swing to that degree of self-preservation and defensiveness. Cracking oneself up and finding humor in practicing the art of snarky, especially at others’ expense, is also sourced out of pride. If it’s parading out in front, you’ll eventually hear a thud when the fall comes. Humility helps break the fall.

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart [pondering as pleasant or angry]
be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD.
Psalm 19:14 NASB

No doubt there are many more reasons behind developing the art of snarky. Whether we mainly think snarky, are a full-blown snarky expert, or find ourselves somewhere in between, the psalmist nailed it. The mouth (words) and the heart (attitudes and thoughts) are connected.

If you are suffering from the art of snarky and really don’t want to keep indulging it, let’s connect. Beneath most such ills of human nature is a once-tender heart that was wounded. Jesus still heals.

~ Nancy

Free photo courtesy of morguefile.com